Senselessness
by Khitoutsu Hikutsa
Summary: rated for language, rude humor, the posibility of strong romance scenesotherwise known as lemon, homosexuality, and Spongebob's constant death. contains numerous crossovers after prologue and chapter one, so you've been warned.
1. Intermède

Author Note:Yes, I'm posting both the evil and funny versions. No real differences in the first two chapters, but the rest will be rewritten to be funny. and no tounament either, that's in the evil version. Look for _Yami Shiro Inazuma: Dark White Lightning_ posted here somewhere. For now, I've got other updating to do. Ja!

Disclaimer: YGO is copyrighted to Kazuki Takahashi, and that's not me. Do the math, that means I don't own YGO.

_**Senselessness By Khitoutsu**_

_**Prologue: Icy Confessions**_

_Stupid school, I hate it when this happens. First that idiot wants to pound Wheeler's face into the ground for who knows what reason, then it's the mutt that's going to get pounded. Then the other idiot jumps in, and somehow I get pulled into getting pounded, too! What next, Wheeler actually thanking me for standing up for them?_ Kaiba ranted to himself while walking down the hall to his locker after school, running right into Serenity without noticing. "Huh? Oh, what do you want Wheeler?"

"I, uh-I wanted to thank-you for what you did earlier. You've changed since Battle City, Kaiba. Even if you don't think so, I think you've changed quite noticably." Serenity said, shaking Kaiba's hand. "Oh yeah, one more thing. I saw an ad in the newspaper this morning about a job opening at Kaiba Corp; and thought I'd ask you about it at school rather than bother you at work."

_I had to ask, didn't I?_ "The job opening at Kaiba Corp. is a job as my personal secretary, and so far the only people that have applied for it are hormone-crazed fan girls. Why? Are you asking me for a job or something, Wheeler?" Kaiba asked, then realized he still hadn't let go of her hand. _Oh shit, just let go Kaiba! If the mutt see's me talking to his sister, he'll rip me apart! I don't know why I'm so nervous, she's just a Wheeler! 'That's the point, Seto old buddy. SHE'S a Wheeler, and you are a guy. Face it Seto, you're in love!' Grr, damn that inner voice. I am not in love, I just haven't let go of her hand yet. 'Nor do you really want to, Seto Kaiba!' Shut up!_

"Um, yeah. As a matter of fact, I am asking you for a job Kaiba! So...Can I have a job, please?" Serenity begged, turning red when she looked at her hand. _Oh my god, he's touching me! Even bigger oh my god, I'm blushing! Dammit, stop blushing Serenity!_

"Will you stop begging if I give you the job, Wheeler?" Serenity nodded and looked at her shoes to hide how red her face was, failing at the task when Kaiba put a hand under her chin and made her look up. Something about his eyes captivated her, holding her gaze at his. "So, mearly holding your hand makes you blush then? You always struck me as harder than that, Wheeler." _Hm, a deserted hallway and the little Wheeler. Again, hm. _"Don't hold this against me, Serenity." Kaiba slowly leaned forward, closing the small distance between them. He quickly pressed his lips to Serenity's, dropping his suitcase in favor of putting his arms around her waist. Breaking the kiss for air, Kaiba still looked deep into her eyes.

"Uh, d-did y-y-you j-just see th-that, R-R-Ryou?" Yugi stuttered out, glancing at Ryou.

"N-n-not i-if you d-d-didn't, Y-Y-Yugi." Both of them put there hands over their eyes and began walking away from the hallway, glad they couldn't see the fact that they could feel Kaiba glaring at them.

"So, do I still get that job?" Serenity said quietly, her arms around Kaiba's chest.

"Do you always have such a one track mind, Serenity? If so, we need to get that track to become me for the next five minutes." Kaiba claimed her lips again, running his tounge over her bottom lip teasingly. Serenity pressed her lips harder against his, grinning inside until she got the feeling they were being watched. "What're you lookin' at, mutt?" Serenity's face turned pale when she heard the word 'mutt' since Joey was the only 'mutt' in school, then she quickly let go and stepped two feet to her right and away from Kaiba.

"....." Joey was moving his lips, but no sound was coming out. The expression on his face was priceless though; a mixture of shock, anger and (surprisingly enough) reluctant acceptance. "What da fuckin' HELL, sis?" Serenity began to explain, but Kaiba cut her off by talking over her.

"I believe most people call that making out, mutt. Find yourself a woman and try it some day, just leave us be." Kaiba pulled Serenity back to him, kissing her again and bidding Joey good-bye with a wave of his hand. _Stupid dog, and to think we might wind up in-law's someday_.

_**TBC...**_

Author Note: **_Damn, this is really pissing me off! _**Why, Khitou-san? **_What hell does that mean? _**I dunno, I'm still new at this whole yami thing. **_Whatever, runt. This is pissing me off because you can't leave well enough alone. I like Yami Shiro Inazuma, that's what I call funny._** Not the rest of us though, Yami. So for now, just put up with it. Oh yeah, and in case your mind doesn't work like ours does. Khitoutsu wrote Dark White Lightning, I didn't. By the way, anyone want a yami? **_HEY, YOU CAN'T GIVE US AWAY!!!!_** Actually, I can't give Khitoutsu away. The rest of you can go whenever you want, so there! **_Hn, why me?_** Because you're the Yami of the Millennium Blade, and they're just idiots I got pinned with. Ja!


	2. Chapitre Un

Author Note: New chapter, new problem, same old warnings! If you don't like anything I mentioned in the other chapter, get as far away from here as possible. Reading the first chapter again, I've discovered what could be mistaken as a plot. There is a slight plot in here, I just don't know yet where it's going! **WARNING: PERVERTED-NESS AHEAD!** Word of warning to those who attend Wedgewood Middle School as 8th graders in Mannarino's class, never listen to one of his lectures and then come home and watch Beavis and Butt-Head for 12 hours straight.

_'hikari to yami'_ **yami to hikari** "speech" _thoughts_ **SHOUTING**(there's a lot of that later)

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**Untitled Senselessness** By Khitoutsu

Chapter One: The Fights?

Friday came quickly and the gang started to get nervous, Kaiba was even seen walking down the hall hand-in-hand with Serenity a couple of times! Tristin was by far the jumpiest, which made Joey nervous. Joey complained about it to Serenity who in turn tried to talk Kaiba into backing out; all that succeeded in doing was giving Kaiba a major headache.

"Seto, this is insane! You, Joey, and Tristin are going to get yourselves killed; have you thought of that? That guy is bigger than all of you, both in height and muscle! I don't know how any of this started, other than the fact that guy was hitting on me." Serenity had pulled Kaiba aside at lunch hoping to talk to him, though it had escalated into an argument quickly.

"Now I'm definately gonna kick his ass, thanks for giving me a reason. Oh great, what now mutt? Are you gonna yell at me to let go of your sister, again?" Kaiba turned to Joey, a pissed off look on his face.

"Na, not dis time. I just came out here because Tristin is worse den Mai sometimes, and now's one of dose time." Joey said, leaning against the wall. "Besides, your argument's gonna be front page of da paper in da mornin' if ya don' keep it down. Every gossip in da schools listenin' in dere, and news travels around hea."

"I know that, dumb-ass. So, you're saying Captain Crew-Cut is scared of the big bad senior?" Kaiba questioned, punching the wall and making his knuckles crack loudly. Continuing his abuse on the wall, he heard an all-to-familiar voice behind him.

"Is that all you've got in you, Dragon Dung?" Senva, the idiot ready to kill them all, said; laughing quietly. Kaiba growled at the wall and fought the urge to turn around and slug him, opting to punch the wall again instead. "Look at that, I made Dragon Dung mad! Why do you hang around with him, Wheeler? This little peice of shit doesn't deserve you, I'm more your kinda man."

"Listen hea, if Kaiba don' deserve Serenity den neitha do you! I'll admit I don' like Kaiba, but he's a betta person den you'll eva be!" Joey shouted in Kaiba's defense, the cafeteria suddenly going quiet. Captain Cre-I mean, Tristin came running out and joined the fight; hoping to end this before three o'clock came around. Senva tried to hit Joey but missed, accidentally slugging Serenity instead. She managed to stay on her feet, but was bleeding slightly. That put Joey and Kaiba over the edge, both of them launching attacks on Senva at the exact same time. "**NO ONE HIT'S MY SISTA, SENVA! KAIBA BARELY GET'S AWAY WITH TOUCHIN' HER, JACK-ASS!**" Joey explained while repeated punching the guy, Kaiba trading off when Joey got tired.

"Yeah, so go find yourself one of your gay buddies and have your fun with them." Kaiba finally knocked Senva off his feet, putting one arm around Serenity's waist. "Leave my woman outta this, or feel the wrath of my 12 years martial arts training. But, while the mutt brought up the subject of relatives, tell that cousin of yours to lay off of Mokuba. I'm tired of him coming home crying everyday because that monster cousin of yours beat him up, understand?" Kaiba dropped his foot heavily on Senva's groin, laughing about the obvious look of pain on his face. One of the idiots goon's kicked Kaiba where the sun doesn't shine, but Kaiba barely flinched. "Idiots, what part of '12 years of martial arts training' don't you understand?" Kaiba let Senva up and laughed his evilly cold laugh, knowing somewhere deep inside that they hadn't seen the last of them today.

"Go Kaiba, dat was wicked!" Joey said, glaring at Kaiba's arm which was still around Serenity's waist. "Okay dude, ya proved yer point. Now let go of my sista, Kaiba!" The cafeteria erupted in cheers, Mai having given a play-by-play of the whole thing. "Damn, we just earned ourselves a detention and they're cheerin' for us!! Man, do I need an aspirin! Better yet, a bottle a whiskey sounds good right now. The strong stuff dat dad used ta drink, two bottles of it." More cheers from the crowd in the cafeteria when Serenity pushed into a passion-filled kiss with Kaiba, Joey and Tristin both gagging and going back inside.

"I don't think they're going to class early, d'you Yugi?" Ryou asked the shorter teen, both of them watching the glint in Kaiba's eyes and the smirk on his face. Yugi shook his head and listened to Yami laugh at his thoughts, Bakura initiating some none-to-holy thoughts in Ryou's head. _'Oi Yami, get outta my head if you're going to think like that!'_ **Bite me hikari, you and Yugi both know those two are going to go find a nice secluded area and fu- **_'I get the point Yami, now just SHUT UP!'_ **I repeat, bite me!** Yugi was having a similar conversation with his yami, who seemed more interested in what happened than what he was putting in Yugi's mind.

**Aibou, why were Kaiba and Serenity shoving their tongues down each other's throats?** _'They were kissing Yami, and most likely because they like each other. A lot by the looks of it. Didn't people, um_..._You know, in Ancient Egypt?'_** Do what, fuck?** _'That's one way to put it, yeah.'_ **Of course, it was as normal as seeing a Shadow Duel on the street.** _'Way to much knowledge, Yami!'_ **Have you taken a look in this mind of yours lately, your thoughts would fit right in around Ancient Egypt!** _'IT'S YOUR FAULT, YAMI!!!' '_**Why? **_'Listen to what you're saying, please?!'_ **Um, is there something wrong with the word 'Fuck' in Domino aibou?** _'No, but those are your perverted thoughts I'm thinking!'_ **Oh, I understand. I have a question though: if you have a problem with Kaiba and Serenity fu- I mean, being a couple; why are you still trying to figure out where they went?** _'I don't know, okay? Now I have to get ready for class, can we continue this over a cup of hot chocolate later?'_ **Sure, I'll go talk with that weird-o cousin of Ryou's really hott yami. Ja ne, aibou!** With that, Yami closed the link and left Yugi's mind. _Thank-god, he's gone!_ "Hey Ryou, did you and Bakura just have as weird a conversation as me and Yami did?"

"Depends, did the 'F' word pop up more than once?" Yugi nodded. "Then yeah, if it was coupled with the names 'Kaiba' and 'Serenity' that is. Yugi, next time I get a gift from dad, remind me to have it exorcised of any and all evils known to man kind."

"Same with anything from grandpa, and replace evils with hentai-ish...Ness." Yugi said, shaking his head and grabbing his book bag. "I'm going to class, I have Shakespearian Literature next period. Just what I need, another weird-o talking about the wonders of sex." Yugi left and went to class, taking his normal seat in the front of the room and banging his head on the desk. _This is going to be a long day, and I've only got 2 periods left: this, and history._

_**The Last Period; Yugi's History Class...**_

"Okay class, today we're going to talk about the Mayans!" Mannarino-sensei said, telling Kaiba to turn the lights off. Kaiba willingly obliged and took his seat next to Serenity, flirting while Mannarino-sensei talked about the Mayans. (A/N: before i go any further, i'm going to explain something. Mr. Mannarino is MY history teacher, and we have been learning about the Mayans in history. everything said in here is the re-worded version of something he said, so bitch at him about it! don't believe me? ask yeikaiji www. fanfiction. net/ yeikaiji, she has him for history, too! and FYI, none of the slides are the ones he showed us.) "Okay, the Mayan's were a very blood thirsty people. And my slide show will prove it, because the Mayan's were very big on severing boy-parts off of...well, boys. Thanks to one of my previous students, I have some hand drawn pictures of how that would of worked. This is disturbing, disgusting, and probably a hell of a turn-on; so don't look if you don't like even one of those three things." He clicked through the rather expliced drawings rather quickly, hoping to prevent anyone getting too attatched to the pictures. By the time he was done, every guy in the class either had their legs squeezed together or had their hands over their crotches.

"I've seen those before, my cousin Kalli gave you those didn't she?" Ryou said, having seen every last image (and the person most of them were attached to) in Kalli's old sketch book. Mannarino-sensei nodded and the class looked at him with new-found respect, setting aside the fact he looked a little turned on by the pictures. "Oh God, I'm gonna kill her! Absolutely going to kill her, and then probably get banished to the Shadow Realm by Marik." Bakura chose then to intervine, aster-projecting in the class room and shouting.

"The **FUCK** you will, I'll kill him first!" Bakura shouted, provoking Yami out of the Millinnium Puzzle. "Great, what do **YOU** want, ya baka pharoah?"

"Shut up, Grave Robber! You won't kill anybody, because I'll banish you to the Shadow Realm first!" With that, Yami and Bakura started fighting. "You fucking little **BASTARD!**"

"**SON OF A PHAROAH'S BITCH!**"

"**JACK-ASS!**"

"**MURDERER!**"

"**PERVERT!**"

"**STUPID JERK!**"

"**TOMB ROBBER!**"

"**GUYS**, SHUT THE **FUCKING HELL** UP!" Yugi and Ryou both shouted, making everyone look at them strangely. Ryou recovered first, shouting more profanity at both yami's. "**DAMMIT, YOU TWO ARE GETTING ON MY LAST GODDAMN NERVE! YOU GET YOUR SORRY ASS BACK IN THIS DAMN MILLENNIUM RING, BAKURA! YAMI, GET BACK IN THE DAMN PUZZLE! ANOTHER WORD OUT OF EITHER OF YOU, AND I SAY FUCK IT AND HAVE KALLI EXORCISE BOTH OF YOU!! UNDERSTOOD?**" Both yami's nodded and disappeared, Ryou red-faced and breathing heavily. "Dammit, they make me so mad sometimes!" Ryou sat back down and hit his head on his desk, noticing it had gotten very quiet really fast.

"Ryou, do you need a hug?" Tea asked quietly, shrinking back when Ryou glared at her. "Okay, I withdraw my hug offer! He needs more than a hug, he needs a boot to the butt and a good time-out!" Tea added, almost everyone agreeing with her. The bell rang a second later, everyone rushing out the door.

TO BE CONTINUED...whether anyone wants it to be or not!

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Author Note: To clear any confusion before it begins, I'll answer some questions my yami had: 1) YES, Kaiba and Serenity were, um...you get the point. 2) YES, it was Ryou and Yugi swearing. 3) NO, I am NOT kidding when I say I will continue this even if no one likes it. 4) NO, I do NOT call my history teacher Mannarino-sensei. and lastly; 5) YES, my sketch book DOES in fact contain sketches of nude men and women alike. most of them having sex, but no one wants to hear about that! Do they? No! OUT! OUT! OUT! (hits head on desk each OUT!) I'm thinking perverted thoughts again, girls aren't supossed to think perverted thoughts! 


	3. Chapitre Deux

Author Note: title explains itself, i think. Yami and Bakura go at it again over a poker game, Yugi and Ryou sit around and watch, and it's 2 am. so don't ask about the stupidity factor, peoples. enjoy, and please review! !!!SPOILERS FOR X-2: X-MEN UNITED!!!

Disclaimer: i don't own yugioh, fullmetal alchemist, x-men, or spongebob squarepants... all of which are mentioned in here

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Senselessness by K. Hikutsa

Chapter Two: More Fighting

"**YOU SORRY SON OF A BITCH, I WON THAT HAND**!" Yami shouted, his pair of kings on the floor in front of him.

"**A FLUSH BEATS A PAIR, EVEN IF THE PAIR IS KINGS**!" Bakura shouted back, looking over at Ryou and Yugi sitting on the couch watching TV. "**A LITTLE HELP HERE, GUYS? THIS WAS YOUR IDEA, AFTER ALL**!"

"**DON'T SHOUT AT THEM, THEY HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG**!" Yugi and Ryou exchanged a glance, then dove behind the couch. They peeked over the back to keep watching X-2: X-Men United, pissing Yami and Bakura off.

"**HEY, WE'RE TALKING TO YOU**!" Bakura threw a book at Ryou's head, both boys ducking their heads down and popping them back up to watch the movie. "**DAMMIT, DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE**!"

"**SHUT UP, WE'RE TRYING TO WATCH THIS**!" Both yami's shut up pretty quick, but the quiet didn't last.

"I still say I won, Tomb Robber."

"**DID NOT**!"

"**DID TOO**!"

"**DID NOT, DAMMIT**!"

"**DID TOO, ASSHOLE**!"

Ryou grabbed the remote and turned the volume on the TV up, drowning out the sounds of their yami's shouting.

"You know what, Yugi?"

"No, but I know Who and he's a decent enough guy." The two teens cracked up, then gagged at all the kissing going on. "Dammit, where's the fighting. This is X-Men, not some sappy romance story!"

"It's supossed to help the plot and stuff like that, I guess. I just noticed that Gambit isn't in this movie anywhere, and he wasn't in the first one either."

"Who's Gambit, another member of the X-Men?"

"Yeah, he makes things blow up by charging them with kinetic energy. See?" He grabbed a comic book and showed Yugi a picture of Gambit.

"Oh, I know who he is. your cousin idolizes him, doesn't she?"

"Who, Kalli?"

"Yeah."

"I dunno if she does anymore or not, but she did when she was five."

"Hey, I thought Jean was with Cyclops?"

"She is, but Logan likes her and doesn't want them together."

"Oh, cool."

"**HEY, ARE YOU TWO IGNORING US**?!?" Bakura and Yami shouted at their hikari's, but Ryou just turned the volume up as loud as it went and started passing notes with Yugi so they didn't have to shout. "**DAMMIT**!"

_'theyre loud'_

_'If logan likes jean, whys he kissing that chick'_

_'that chick is mystique, and im not sure'_

_'whos mystique'_

_'the blue chick mutant person thing'_

_'oh'_

The two of them continued gawking at the movie, and exchanged a confused glance as Spongebob ran into view in Ryou's living room.

"**KILL IT! KILL IT**!" The yami's shouted, chasing Spongebob down and feeding it to Curse of Dragon. Then they started fighting again.

Ryou and Yugi shrugged and turned to the movie, watching the end with unblinking eyes. Jean got up and left the X-Jet, walking outside and using her telekinetic powers to lift the jet and get it flying. Cyclops shouted at Nightcrawler to go get her, but Kurt couldn't teleport out of the jet. Jean wouldn't let him. Professor Xavier began relaying what Jean was saying, and soon everyone else was safe and Jean stopped blocking the water walling up behind her. Too tired to try and escape, Jean Grey drowned and everyone started crying. Phoenix was dead, the weirdo who made Wolverine was dead, everyone was crying, and Ryou got up and found another movie to watch.

"How does Bruce Almighty sound, it's supossed to be funny."

"Sure, where's the popcorn?"

Ryou started the movie and sat down, looking more confused than when Spongebob came in when Ed and Al from Fullmetal Alchemist dropped from a vortex in the ceiling.

"Where are we?" Al asked, Ed just shrugged and glanced around.

"Domino, Japan. Sit down and watch Bruce Almighty, it's supossed to be funny." Ryou said, throwing the remote at Bakura to shut him up. Bakura glared at the extra people on the couch, then punched Yami to get his attention. the pharoah was confused, but caught sight of the TV and sat down. Bakura did the same, all six of them gawking like fools at Bruce Almighty.

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Author Note: chapers have nothing to do with each other unles there is a 'TBC...' at the bottom, so next chapter is totally random. with any luck, it won't have anything to do with yugioh. bye for now, and don't forget to review! seriously, i was laughing so hard i almost forgot to post it. hm, it's now 4:11 am... go figure! for those who reviewed when this still had six chapters, please check it out again and review! byes! 


	4. Chapitre Trois

Author Note: chapter is in script format, so no whining!

Disclaimer: i don't own yugioh, or anything else mentioned in here except characters not native to the anime/manga... or other anime/manga, video games, movies, comic books. long story short: i own the not copyrighted stuff.

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Senselessness by K. Hikutsa

Chapter Three: Insert Title Here

Time: 2 am

Date: Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Location: My Basement

Reason: i hafta have a reason to write now?!

Liz: What is it with humor and 2 am lately?

Mystic: ::shrugs:: Is it too early for the endless drink & pass?

Liz: Never too early for alcohol, Mystic.

Nightcrawler: ::hanging from tail in tree::

Mystic: ::hides bottle:: Hi Nightey, how's it?

Gambit: Hey, dey have alcohol! ::starts working his charm:: How 'bout sharin' dat wid you ole pal Gambit, ladies.

Liz and Mystic: ::smirk:: What's in it for us, Gambit?

Nightcrawler: I can't vin, can I?

Mystic: Something wrong, Kurt?

Nightcrawler: You don't haff time to drink, Gambit. Cyclops vants to talk vith you, and he seemed mad.

Gambit: Logan probly broke into his car again, den blamed it on me.

Nightcrawler: I don't zink so, it seemed more important zan his car.

Gambit: Logan's probly hittin' on Jean again, den. And she's probly blamin' me for dat, I'll never understand t'femmes. ::goes off to find Cyclops::

Mystic: Damn, there goes one nice looking guy.

Liz: Five bucks says Gambit was right the second time. ::pulls a five out of her pocket::

Mystic: Your on! ::does the same thing::

_**TWENTY MINUTES LATER...**_

Gambit: ::comes back grumbling inaudibly in French::

Liz: Something wrong, Gambit?

Gambit: Ouais, environ doit coller une botte vers le haut de Cyclops' âne!

Mystic: Huh?

Liz: Je conviens Remy, Scott est une secousse parfois. J'espère que Jean ne vous a pas entendu dire cela, cependant.

Jessie: ::no clue what he said, but laughs anyways::

Mystic: ::glares::

Gambit: Ah, embrassent mon âne!

Liz, Jessie, and Mystic: ::glare at Gambit::

Chapter 3 1/2: I Dunno...

Serenity: Who are all these people, anyways?

Seto: Friends of my sisters, why?

Serenity: Just asking... You have a sister, I didn't know that.

Mystic: Yeah, that's me. And they are not **MY** friends, they're Kaido and Aiyen's friends.

Kaido: ::flies into view and slams into wall glowing pink::

Mystic: Looks like Jean Grey's mad, and that had ta hurt.

Kaido: DUCK IN COVER!

All: ::hide in various places::

Gambit and Rogue: ::hiding in closet::

(very lurid sounds coming from closet... different reactions all around::

Kaido and Mystic: ::exchange glance and perverted grin::

Aiyen: ::gags and leaves::

Jean Grey: ::standing there all glowy and stuff::

(Phoenix: Get it right, mortal!)

Liz: Gimme a pencil, and I'll fix it.

(pencil comes whizzing at Liz's head, thrown by telekinesis)

Liz: ::grabs pencil and fixes mistakes::

(fixed script... take one)

Phoenix: ::looks murderous::

Liz: See ya! ::dives under bed, hitting Mystic and Kaido:: Sorry guys.

Mystic: No problem, but what's going on here? I thought that chicks name was Jean Grey, why does the script say Phoenix?

Liz: It's part of her powers, she's a powerful telepath/ telekinetic who loses control sometimes. When she does, Phoenix takes over.

Aiyen: I got t'same problem, only Phantom ain't part of me. She an evil spirit who took over my body 'fore I was born, but cain't properly fuse with me 'cause of the kinetic energy charge-y thingy. ::thinks, then get's confused:: Wait a minute, I dought I left t'room because Remy and Rogue were gettin'-r-dun in t'closet?

Liz: Hm, I thought you did, too. ::checks script:: Yep, says here you should be at the X Mansion listening to Remy and Scott argue. But since Remy's preoccupied and Scott's gawking at Jea- Phoenix, you may as well stay Aiyen.

Aiyen: Okay, I c'n do dat.

Mystic: Will you teach me French, I wanna know what he's saying in there.

Aiyen: Oui, I'll teach you French. But how's 'bout I just translate for now?

Mystic: Sounds good, and don't skimp on the details.

Liz: Hey, can I put a camera in there? That would make a great CutScenes chapter, if I could ever find a beta reader.

Seto and Mystic: We'll do it! ::identical perverted grins::

Serenity: What's CutScenes, Liz?

Everyone Else(suddenly defying their hiding places): ::does the anime fall over thing::

Liz: You know, we never did find out why Gambit had ta leave. ::pounds on closet door:: What did Cyclops want earlier, Cajun?!

Gambit: You was right t'second time, now go away!

Mystic: ::hands over five dollars and grumbles about losing::

Liz: ::beams happily and goes off to by X2: X-Men United on DVD::

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Author Note: damn, i crack myself up sometimes. knowing me, i will write a remy/ rogue CutScenes chappy. if not that, a whole story. hm, it had something to do with YuGiOh after all. i love this story, it's the most random 'i-was-asleep-in-history-writting-it' story i've ever written. but just for the record, i can be half-asleep watching Fullmetal Alchemist at midnight on a saturday and write a horror story that even mom likes ::cough**YAMISHIROINAZUMA**cough:: 


	5. Chapitre Quatre

author note: (script format) this chapter contains mentioned adult situations, and is not suitable for children. as if you didn't already know that, just look at the rating/ summary. just so it's out in the open, there are a few minors in this story. They will be the only sober people in this chapter: Liz(14), Yami(14), Shionah(13). yet another x-over, only it's with my origional novel Shinryuu's Quest. Oh yeah, and Rikku from Final Fantasy 10 makes an appearance.

_**Senselessness by Khitoutsu  
**__**Chapter Four: The Bet**_

Shinryuu: Shouldn't you three be in bed, or something?

Yami: Why? So you adults can reck the house, or get the cops called on us or something like that... AGAIN!?

Joey: Hey, listen ta your elders and go ta bed, boy!

Yami: Oh, go to hell!

Liz: ::rolls eyes:: Be nice, Yami. He obviously hasn't read my CutScenes chapter, the stupid fag.

Joey: ::confused:: I'm not a fag, but what's "CutScenes"?

Liz: My collection of hentai stories, and the first request that I got was for a Seto/ Joey chapter.

Kaiba: ::chokes on beer:: Do **WHAT**!?!

Liz: And I wrote it, too.

Joey and Kaiba: ::start beating the shit outta each other::

Blade: Shinryuu, mon ami?

Shinryuu: Qui, Blade?

Blade: Is this normal human behavior?

Shinryuu: Qui Blade, this is normal human behavior.

Liz: ::sweatdrops:: Shinryuu, you're human.

Shinryuu: ::thinks for a sec:: Oh yeah, lemme help! ::dives into fight now involving Atemu::

Shionah: I just had a killer idea! ::whispers something to Liz::

Liz: ::giggles, then whistles to get everyones attention::

All: ::look over::

Liz: We bet that we kids can be more mature than you adults.

Yami and Shionah: ::smirk::

Cobra: I severely doubt you can, kiddo's.

Spongebob: ::runs from Chibi Devil::

PurpleEyesBlueDragon: ::steps in front of Spongebob, cutting him off::

Spongebob: Oh shit.....

Kaido: ::uses HellsFire Ritual on Chibi Devil, then uses Card of Dark Summons on Youkai Devil Dragon::

Ultimos: ::bares fangs at Spongebob::

Patrick: ::appears from nowhere:: Hiya Spongebob, why are we being attacked by dragons?

Ultimos and PEBD: ::exchange dragonic smirk:: Oh look.... more lunch!

Kaido and Mystic: Kill 'em, guys! ::evil smirks::

Spongebob and Partick: ::scream::

Dragons: ::devour them slowly, enjoying the screams::

Atemu: That's just wrong...

Liz, Yami, and Shinoah: YAY!!! BLOOD!!! MORE, MORE!!!

Atemu: Children these days...

Ultimos: ::eats Atemu too, tossing half to PEBD::

Yami, Shionah and Liz: ::get a little bloody:: YAY!!!!!!

George-bot: So much for mature...

Blade: ::shoves sword through George-bot::

Rikku: ::helps dismantle the robot:: Stupid machina!

Liz: ::confused, checks through script:: Rikku, you aren't supossed to be here.

Rikku: I'm not?

Liz: Nope, you are supossed to be in one of my other stories... you know, the one in my journal.

Rikku: ::shrugs, kicks the remains of George-bot, the vanishes as mysteriously as she appeared::

Shinryuu: Alright, we accept your bet.

Liz and Shinryuu: ::shake hands::

**LESS THAN AN HOUR LATER...**

Kaiba: ::drunkenly:: a'igh..... you win...... ::passes out::

Shionah: ::looks smug:: Baka adults...

Liz: Now Shionah, be nice and help me drag them all back to bed.

The Minors: ::drag adults off to bed, tucking them in tightly::

Yami: Now what do we do?

Liz: Get drunk and join them in their hang-over... ish..... state tomorrow morning?

Yami and Shionah: YEAH!!!

The Minors: ::get drunk and pass out in bed with whomever they landed with::

Liz: ::gets turned into a teddy bear by Kaido::

Kaido: ::mutters:: Je t'aime, kiddo. WAIT A MINUTE! ::eyes shoot open, looks at Liz::

Liz: Ow..... Stop shouting, damn it!

Kaido: ::shrugs and seduces Liz::

**END.....**

Told ya so, didn't I? I forgot to mention it was yuri, but who really cares? just be sure you leave a review, and don't whine about the mentioned yuri. I have a chapter written out that has a LOT of homosexuality in it, so be warned if you don't like that kinda stuff. A bit of a side note, silentshipping may not be part of this story again for a long while. FRENCH TRANSLATIONS: (last chapter) "Embrassant mon âne" means"Kiss my ass" (this chapter) "Qui" means"Yes" "Mon ami" means"My friend" All French will be translated at the end of the chapters, and will any other language I decide to slip in here. See ya next chapter!  
A small announcement tothose of you who now the Yu-Gi-Oh! TCG: check this site out andemail Silverbloodangel90(A)yahoo. comif you want to join! www. freewebs. com / tournament- of- souls (remove the spaces in URL and email)


	6. Chapitre Cinq, Part Un

Author Note: this was my friends' idea, so don't blame me. YuGiOh/ X-Men/ Drawn Together crossover, boredom. if Spongebob, or some other annoying children's cartoon character, doesn't die in a chapter... i more than likely either didn't write it or wrote it around my cousins.

* * *

_**Senselessness by Khitoutsu Hikutsa  
**__**Chapter Five; Part One: Backstage**_

Kaido:reading through script: Damn...

Liz: Something wrong, ma amour?

Kaido: Qui, Myst and Lil get to beat Serenity and Tea up.

Serenity and Tea: **WHAT**?

Kaido: See for yourself, ladies. :hands over script:

Serenity and Tea:look it over, pale, then run... dropping script:

Liz:catches: Mind you, it's not compleately done yet.

Cyclops: It's opening night and you haven't even finished the script yet? Leave it to a teenager to procrastinate!

Liz: **SECURITY**!

(Wolverine and Sabretooth walk up, Liz looks confused)

Liz: Hey, um... What happened to Nightshade?

Rogue:walks by looking pissed, mutters something about Nightshade and Gambit having sex in a closet somewhere:

(I'll add that as a chapter in the NC-17 version on MediaMiner, so hang tight if you wanna read it)

Liz: Poor Rogue! Security, escort Mr. Summers to the exit... Or use him as target practice, whatever you prefer. :leaves script behind, follows Rogue and starts hitting on her:

(This gets thrown in the NC-17 version eventually, too)

Kaido: Hey, you're supossed to be my woman:follows Liz and Rogue, bitching about Liz's Cajun charm going to her head:

Security:hog tie Cyclops and toss him into a deep freezer, then walk off and leave him there without his visor:

Cyclops:opens his eyes and blasts his way out, retrieving his visor from Wolverine and Sabretooth:

(**A FEW HOURS LATER**)

Liz:still finishing script, covered in lipstick, burns and bruises: It's good to be me...

Cyclops: Teenagers... :walks off agitated:

Sponegbob:looks confused: Um, where do you want me?

Bakura: Damn it, don't you ever die!

Kaido:draws sword, slices Spongebob into tiny pieces with a smirk:

Ling Ling: (**YAY**! **BLOOD**!)

Gambit: Ain't dat cute, it speaks some funny langauge!

Ling Ling: (Go fuck yourself, mortal!)

Gambit:confused:

Nightshade:giggles:

Kaiba: It said "Go fuck yourself, mortal"

Gambit:drops Ling Ling, walks away to follow its orders:

Liz: Jean...

Jean:stops Gambit telekinetically:

Gambit: Whut gives, petite?

Liz: First off, you call me 'little one' one more time and I'll make you spend the rest of your life thinking you're a six-year-old girl.

Gambit: How you gonna do dat, chere?

Phantom: _"Easy, I'll rearrange your molecular structure so that you look like a six-year-old girl"_

Liz: Yeah, then we'll make Jean braid your hair.

Jean:giggles:

Liz: NOW! PLACES!

Everyone Else:takes places:

Serenity and Tea:scared as hell:

Liz: Wait a minute... WHERE ARE MYSTIC AND LILLIANA?

Mystic and Lilliana:show up late, out of breath from running:

Liz: **PLACES**!

Mystic and Lilliana:take places, both smirking broadly:

Liz: And... ACTION:ducks out of sight as curtain comes up:

**TO BE CONTINUED...

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**

Author Note: for anyone wondering, the Kaido, Mystic and Lilliana in Senselessness(and other stories I'm being forced to post elsewhere :smirks:) are NOT the same ones from YamiShiroInazuma. They are just my friends... and they happen to own the characters in YamiShiroInazuma.


	7. Chapitre Cinq, Part Deux

Author Note: this was my friends' idea, so don't blame me. YuGiOh/ X-Men/ Drachenreider crossover, boredom. if Spongebob, or some other annoying children's cartoon character, doesn't die in a chapter... i more than likely either didn't write it or wrote it around my cousin Akiryu Kitsune. Slash/ Lime ahead, warning isn't hard to miss. :wink:

* * *

_**Senselessness by Khitoutsu Hikutsa  
**__**Chapter Five; Part Two: Fight Scene**_

"What's the point of this, human?" Magneto asked Liz, agitated with the whole scenario. She rolled her eyes and was suddenly glad she hadn't worn anything metal, having been told that Magneto would show up eventually. The young Cajun knew their powers, how to avoid them, and what kept them controlable. Most of the time anyways, but maybe that was just Superman she knew.

"Dere ain't a point to dis, da's whut makes it funny. Besides, it looks like everyone else is having fun." Liz glanced over at the group, her jaw hitting the floor when her brain registered what her eyes were seeing. _Gambit... in his underwear... playing poker... and LOSING! _"Holy fuck, I'm going over dere!" Liz said before ditching her notebook and diving for the poker game, giving Magneto a good look at the front page. He read through what he could see, his eyes wide as dinner plates as he looked over at Cyclops.

"You know you can rent this stuff on video at Blockbuster, right kid? All you have to do is go up to the desk and ask about the X-rated stuff, and the clerk runs your ID and hands it to you. Not that I speak from experiance, I've just seen it done before." Magneto added hurriedly, turning away from the group to hide how red his face was. Liz giggled and picked up her binder, looking at what page it was on.

"You didn't read all o' it, did you Mr. Lehnsherr?" She asked, looking over at Kaido with a smirk. The bandit smirked back at the obvious blush on Magneto's face, ducking under a flying Serenity and a diving Mystic. Mystic missed her dive and hit Kaido, landing in an awkward possition and making Kaido blush. "Get a room, mon beau femmes. So answer my question, did you read de whole story Mr. Lehnsherr?"

"No, and I don't plan on it. I'm too old to be reading sex stories written by 14-year-old Cajun brats, or anyone else for that matter." Magneto said before walking away, muttering something about stupid Cajuns and their damn stories. Liz rolled her eyes and went back to watching the poker game, noticing Gambit was compleately naked and didn't seem to mind at all. She glanced through the four page story, not remembering writing half of it or exactly where the idea came from.

"Hey, anyone wanna read a slash dreesome!" Liz asked, sitting the notebook on the ground for everyone to see. Cyclops took one look at the front page and choked, walking away redder than his ruby-quartz visor lense. Poisyn and Gambit looked quite pleased with what they were reading, and Jean just looked pissed. When the Cajun took another five pages out of the bottomless bag and sat them on the ground, Jean blushed darker than Cyclops and left to find him. Tea and Serenity tried to slip away, but Mystic and Lilliana tacked them and started throwing punches. Not those whimpy punches that most chicks throw, real and very painful punches. Liz giggled and started looking through her bag again, pulling out a video camera and recording the whole thing. "Damn, dis would sell great on de net if mom would let me!"

(Author Note: the slash threesome is part of Hentai Senselessness, and is a Gambit/ Poisyn/ Cyclops chapter. but don't worry, Phoenix fans, Jean doesn't get left out. The second chapter involves her, pairings are Mystic/ Kaido/ Jean and Mystic/ Wolverine/ Kaido/ Gambit/ Jean. talk about and orgy fic... whatever that is. okay, back to the story!)

**LIZ P.O.V.**

"Hey, it's that annoying perverted Cajun again! Let's get her, guys!" I looked up and saw the same _salope_ I was hitting on at school, suddenly going pale and looking from Kaido to Salope. (A/ N: name changed to protect the innocent. by the way, 'salope' means 'bitch' in Cajun.) Kaido looked her over and growled, turning into Ultimos Devil Dragon and baring her fangs. I wasn't about to take chances. I mean, even if the chick was straight, she was still hot. So I pulled Fayth Dragon out of my pocket and summoned it, ordering it to defend Salope against Kaido and still looking at her with my usual Cajun smirk.

"Bonjour chere, it's been a while, non? Since de day in de cafeteria, if memory serves?"

"You still make me sick, Cajun. Miss Makara wants to talk to you about your little "charm" act, and she says now."

"I go see de crazy woman if you give me a kiss, petite." I saw Kaido change back before Salope slapped me, earning a glare from Kaido before I walked over and leaned into her. "Doan' start now, ma amour, I jes' being Cajun wid de femme. Can I trust you to keep an eye on dings hea while I go listen to de vice-principal bitch fo' a while?"

"I guess I can, just remember that you're my Cajun. Not hers, not that biomorphs. Mine."

"Dat's right Kai, I belong to you." I said in quiet seduction, ensuring only Kaido heard before she forced me into a deep kiss. A few giggles and a vice-principal tapping me on the shoulder later, I pulled away and rolled my eyes before following Miss Makara and Salope away from the group.

**KAIDO P.O.V.**

I watched as Liz walked away, still hitting on the baka salope and earning sickened looks.

_Cajuns... You gotta love 'em._ I thought before turning my gaze toward the still raging fight between Mystic, Lil, Tea, and Serenity. Kaiba took a seat by me and gazed half heartedly at the fight, ready to kill both Tea and Serenity for more reasons then one. The main one probably had something to do with his night with Joey Wheeler, during which Mystic had kidnapped Serenity and had rather rough sex with her. I can't blame them, everyone is sleeping with everyone else these days. Rough, animalistic sex is our idea of fun, and writing it out is the Cajuns. She was theTHING Master, or at least so Mystic dubbed her.

"Hey Poisyn, go get me a beer!" I shouted at the biomorph, looking him over to find out what Liz liked about a thing she couldn't do anything to. His bodily fluids were all potent toxins, so touching him without that body suit was more dangerous than touching Rogue skin to skin. He sulked off to get a beer, tossing the bottle at me while still holding a glass of water and a tube of some foul smelling gunk that nutralized the toxins in his body. He gave Gambit a look and walked the other direction, earning a smirk from the Cajun as he scrambled to follow him.

"Sorrel, are you sure you're reading that map right?" A silver dragon asked the furry thing on it's back, landing less than two feet away from me and Kaiba and effectively blocking my view of Poisyn and Gambit fucking.

"**HEY! DOWN IN FRONT!**"

"Seiyousa, you're shouting at a dragon." Kaiba said, earning himself a black eye.

"I know that, dumbass, that's why I'm complaining! I was watching Poisyn and Gambit get it on, then this thing lands in my way. Who the hell are you anyways, dragon?"

"Oh, my name is Firedrake. I'm looking for the Rim of Heaven, would you happen to know where it is?"

"Damn it, Firedrake, she might work for Nettlebrand!" The furry thing said, glaring at me angrily. I drew my sword and smirked, knowing I could kill it if I wanted to.

"Be nice Sorrel, I don't think she works for Nettlebrand. She's human, and Nettlebrand eats humans if he has to. My name's Ben, these two are Sorrel and Twigleg." He pointed to the furry thing and a homunculous on his leg, then handed Twigleg to Sorrel and climbed down. "Firedrake's right though, we do need to find the Rim of Heaven. Do you know if we're going the right way?"

"This is Japan, the Rim of Heaven is in the Himalayas. Go NorthNorthWest for a few hundred miles, you can't miss it." I said, glad when they finally left and I could drool over the two hot guys in front of me.

**NARRITIVE** **LIME SCENE! SLASH, M/ M, ORAL, ANAL STRANGE METHODS, JUST GO WITH IT! GAMBIT/ POISYN**

Gambit had stripped Poisyn of his body suit, having lost his own in the poker game, and decided he couldn't take it anymore. Sitting around naked with a group of mostly girls took enough of a toll on a man, but doing the same thing with a hard-on was a living hell. Annoyed with his inability to touch Rogue and Nightshade's unusual abscense, he decided to make a _Curiosity Could Be A Good Thing_; _Part Deux_ while everyone watched. Poisyn sat up and smirked, forcing Gambit onto his back and picking up his glass of water. Taking a quick drink, he sloshed it around for a minute before quickly taking 'little Gambit' in his mouth. Gambit moaned is pleasure, wondering why Poisyn insisted on always using cold water.

(Author Note: Poisyn is using water because his saliva is just as toxic as the rest of his bodily fluids, and it's always cold water because Poisyn likes the way Gambit squirms when it's cold. _Curiosity Can Be A Good Thing_ is the Poisyn/ Cyclops/ Gambit chapter of Hentai Senselessness, and _Part Deux_(Two) is this. Hentai Senselessness has not been posted yet, and I am taking requests for pairings you want to see. And don't expect much from yaoi/ slash pairings. Yuri/ Femslash and hetrosexual pairings are my forte, being lesbian myself and having a good idea of where everything goes with straight peoples.)

Poisyn's hands trailed lightly over Gambit's heated body, making the Cajun thief squirm and moan at the ticklish feeling. His hands made there way slowly down, his feather-light fingers teasing all of Gambit's rock hard body. His fingers tangled in Poisyn's acid-green hair, urging the biomorph on. He smirked inwardly and sucked hard, the combination of that and his teasing fingers on Gambit's balls forcing the Cajun to come. The biomorph pulled his head up and spit, getting knocked backwards by Gambit and smirking. The Cajun took the foul-smelling gunk and covered his hands with it, gripping Poisyn's penis tightly and moving his fist slowly. The sulfer/ various other acids mixture burned slightly, but the sensation helped Poisyn's usually touch-deprived body come faster while simultaneously protecting Gambit's hands from the toxins seeping through his skin and into his bloodstream. Gambit's hand moved faster as he sat on Poisyn's knees, his other hand jerking his own cock. By now the whole group had gathered around to watch, even Mystic and Lilliana had gotten interested in what was going on. Tea and Serenity took the opportunity to escape with their lives, bruised and beaten as they were. Both guys came at the same time, leaving Gambit slightly winded and Poisyn still hard.

Poisyn took control of the situation and picked up the same gunk Gambit had used on his hands, covering his member with it and pulling Gambit onto him. Both of them groaned as the biomorph began to thrust slowly, Gambit coming quickly before Poisyn collapsed on him. The two slept soundly, the group dispersing when they realized there was nothing else to see except two naked guys sleeping. Annoyed with the anti-climactic end to the day, everyone filed off to find a corner to sleep in. Kaido ended up falling over Mystic, hearing her mutter something that ended in the word 'nushi'. She didn't know what any of it meant, so she just muttered: "Whatever, amoureux." before falling asleep, using Mystic as a teddy bear.

**TO BE CONTINUED...

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**

Author Note: now that took a while, but it's good... i think. btw, _nushi_ and _amoureux_ meen the same thing, but i'm not translating them. Ooooooo... evil! Mystic, if you translate either word in your review I will hurt you! Or worse: no visiting "Our Place" for a month! Ooooooo... even eviler! see ya next update, and i'm open to any ideas you might have! even if it requires bloopering another fanfic of mine or yours, me and Mystic are good at bloopering stories and scenes and movies and stuff like that!


End file.
